Leading
a Life of Quiet Desperation
Susie was a cheerful
woman. Virtually every time that one of the staff went into her
office, she had a ready smile and happy demeanor. And, she had a
responsible position: executive secretary to the Chairman of our
company. But, suddenly, she taught me a serious lesson about
life and about demeanor.
One day she walked into
my office, not quite her cheerful self, sat down, and said, “Ed,
I have been thinking about suicide.” I was stunned! Here was
this cheerful and (apparently) confident and capable woman
thinking of killing herself.
I do not know the
outcome of this story. For the few more years that our lives
overlapped, she did not kill herself. But, I have had no contact
for decades.
But, that shock stayed
with me. Henry David Thoreau said in “Walden,” that “The mass of
men lead lives of quiet desperation.”
I am afraid that many
Christians “lead lives of quiet desperation.” Do you?
Brother or sister, this
ought not to be! Now, I am not about to brow beat you, desperate
that you may be. But, I will challenge you to find the fullness
of life that Christ promised to His children. “I have come that
they may have life, and that they may have it more abundantly”
(John 10:10).
But, you say, “I have
tried everything.” Well, herein is your first lesson, if you
truly want change.* You must learn to be honest with yourself.
No one has tried everything! For example, you have not
talked to me. You have not talked to a nouthetic counselor.
(Link to word in Glossary.) You have not read any of their
books.
And, therein are the
directions that I give to you. 1) Go to
Timeless Texts, and choose any book that seems
to address your problem. Look especially for those by Jay Adams,
but any one on that site will give sound Biblical instruction.
As you read the book,
act on it! Just
reading will not solve your problems. Take action!
2) Find someone for you
to help in a situation that takes considerable time and help.
Often, the problem is that we focus inward too much. The Bible
is clear that the more that we see of ourselves, the greater our
consciousness of our sin. So, ask forgiveness of God for
whatever sins that you know and find someone for you to help.
3) Find the oldest,
most mature Christian that you can know, preferably an officer
in a Bible-believing church. Tell them briefly of your
problem and them what you should do. Follow their advice,
don’t argue.
4) Find a nouthetic
counselor. If you do not know what a nouthetic counselor is,
then find out and find one
here.
Our God is a living and
ever present God who desires that we love Him and serve our
“neighbor.” If you are “quietly desperate,” not living the life
that He designed. Do whatever it takes to discover where you are
not allowing God to direct your life. You are missing the
abundant life!
* (If you do not want
change, no one can help you, but God. Ask Him to give you that
desire. If you cannot, or will not, ask God for His help, then
you have no hope. There are no magical cures in this life.)
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